Music of My Heart
by princesspriscillamaxwell
Summary: [[COMPLETE]] A sad song fic. Heero finds out Duo's true feelings for him. I wrote this one a long time ago.


Disclaimer: Please do not sue. I have no money. I spent it fixing my computer so I could write this fic. I do not own any of the gundam pilots. Don't even bother trying to sue.  
  
Please do not steal any of my ideas. I worked long and hard on it. Please read and review. It's the only way I can make this fic/series better. Want to post it somewhere? Be my guest. But please tell me where by emailing me.  
  
Warnings: Tissue alert  
  
A/N: Best read while listening to the song. 'Music of My Heart' by NSYNC  
  
Italics are thoughts  
  
//song lyrics// ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Heero put Wing on autopilot. He wanted to get away, he needed to get away but where can you go to escape the grief of death?  
  
A soldier has no need for emotions.  
  
That was what he had learnt from his training yet Dr J had told him to always act on his emotions. Confused Heero absently mindedly toyed with the black data disk Duo had given him before he left for his mission. Duo had made him promise not to open the disk unless it was totally necessary, had said that it was a 'just in case' thing. Heero had found himself thinking 'just in case what'? But Duo had left before he even had a chance to ask.  
  
And now Duo was gone.  
  
Slipped through my fingers again.  
  
Heero took a deep breath and slipped the disk into Wing's inbuilt computer system and a string of words appeared on Wing's computer panel.  
  
Enter Password or type your name for password hint.  
  
The corners of Heero's lips twitched. If anybody at OZ had managed to get access of this disk they would probably be dead by now. Heero typed 'your name'. A string of words flashed on the screen.  
  
What is my teddy's name?  
  
Too easy! Though OZ might have a hard time trying guessing a teddy bear's name. After all who would name their teddy after the God of Death? Heero typed the toy's name and waited.  
  
ACCESS GRANTED  
  
The familiar sound of Duo's favorite 90's love songs filled the cockpit of Wing. A visual of Duo's smiling face suddenly popped up on the main panel of Wing. The music played ever so softly in the background, but Heero could make out the words.  
  
//You'll never know, what you've done for me  
  
What your faith in me, has done for my soul  
  
You'll never know the gift you've given me  
  
I'll carry it with me, yeah yeah//  
  
"Hiya Heero! How're you doing?" said the visual. "Not too bad I hope, I know you can fair without me quite easily.you've always been able to do that."  
  
The visual paused, looked thoughtful for a moment before speaking again.  
  
"I know.you've probably got a million questions running through you're head at the moment. Things like 'what the hell is this or why am I watching this baka chattering away at me so I'd just like to take this moment to remind you that this is only a recording and you can turn it off anytime you want.  
  
Now onto more important stuff, what is this disk and why did I give it to you ne? Weeeell, this disk contains the other part of me. Yup! You heard right, the other part of Duo Maxwell. What was the first part I hear you ask? Remember that time in the safe house? The time I told you about my past? I was an orphan at an orphanage called Maxwell Church. Remember how I told you about Father Maxwell and Sister Helen? The first part of me."  
  
Heero nodded in silent agreement.  
  
"Ah! Thought you would. The perfect soldier never forgets a thing. But how can you forget something that you never witnessed first hand? The only reason this disk is in your hands is because I gave it to you, believing that I would not."  
  
"Hmm, you're thinking of my famous lines aren't cha? 'The Great Shinigami lives!', 'Nobody can kill death itself!' or 'I may run, I may hide but I never tell a lie.' Listen up buddy.I think before I speak. All those things.all those things are true but sometimes I do doubt myself.I mean I am a human being and humans can die of old age ne? Aw, c'mon Heero don't tell me you always thought I spoke cos I liked the sound of my own voice."  
  
Heero frowned at that statement. He had thought that Duo simply said anything that came out of his mouth without thinking about it. No matter what Duo said it always came out clear and confident, without a hint of doubt ever.  
  
"Heh, well in case you haven't caught on yet.what I'm trying is say is that sometimes I don't have as much confidence as I would like to have and yea well I do try my best to hide that fact. Did I fool ya?"  
  
Heero noticed that the usual glimmer in his partner's eyes dimmed after that statement.  
  
//Through the days ahead I'll think of days before  
  
You made me hope for something better  
  
And made me reach for something more//  
  
"Stupid question. Of course it fooled ya otherwise you wouldn't be watching this right now. Anyways your question.how did the chatterbox manage to get himself killed on a mission.ne is that the question on your mind? I can only guess that the most likely reason was because I was careless, maybe forgot to watch my back or needed to self-destruct to save the colonies. Now don't you go using me as your role model ok? Suicides don't bring you to heaven. They take you to hell and trust me, hell ain't that great."  
  
"Speaking of role models do you remember the first time we met? I certainly do and yea I would say that it was a swell first encounter. Ok, so I shot you, not once but twice. Oops. I just realized that I never got around to apologizing. So I'll apologize now. Heero I'm sorry for shooting you."  
  
Heero found himself rubbing the spot on his arm where Duo had shot him all those years ago. These things Duo were saying, they were.they were.touching.  
  
"But I never regretted meeting you. You turned out to my greatest role model. How you ask. Well remember how you got sent to hospital, thanks to Oojusan and remember when I tried to save you.except you turned that into a suicide attempt. You scared the pants off me then but my respect for you increased ten fold when you got up from your thirty-story fall sporting that famous 'I'm pissed off so don't you dare come near me look'. Hmm and that broken leg, I still can't believe you put it back into place without the use of painkillers. Man, thinking about that still grosses me out but you know what? My respect for you increased tenfold after meeting you. You were so calm, so strong and so in control of your life. There was just something about you.something unexplainable. You made me hope for something better  
  
and made me reach for something more You became my hero.but not in that Relena-ish type way...I'm not that obsessive."  
  
The visual paused again and looked unsure of what to say next.  
  
Heero, I just want you to know that I think of you as a friend, a true friend. You taught me so many things. You taught me run with my emotions, you taught me to listen to my heart. The others said that you had as many emotions as a rock did but I thought differently. I believed that you had feelings. You talked of your past, your conditioning and restrictions that Dr J had set. I could see it all, feel it all in the times we shared.  
  
//You were the one, always on my side  
  
(always on my side)  
  
Always standing by  
  
(always standing by)  
  
Seeing me through  
  
You were the song that always made me sing  
  
(made me sing)  
  
I'm singing this for you  
  
Everywhere I go, I'll think of where I've been  
  
And all of ones you knew me better then any  
One ever will again//  
  
Heero watched as the visual of Duo began to talk about the good times that they had shared, watched the familiar facial expressions he knew and listened to the cheerful voice of a friend that he would never have the opportunity to hear in person for a long time. He was hit with pangs of guilt as Duo recalled the memories, telling them with a sparkle in his eyes.  
  
"Heero you've got to hang on to those memories. They're the only we've got now that I'm gone."  
  
Heero now regretted treating the American so harshly but somehow the good- natured pilot of 02 had forgiven him.  
  
"Its ok Heero. I don't blame you for telling me to shut up or for calling me baka. You know what? I kept count of how many times you called me that, that's 20182 times at present. But I don't mind. I just wanted to get close to you, to become your friend. I'm sorry for acting like an annoying fly that just wouldn't go away. I had really wanted to get you out of your shell.if you'd let me call it that.  
  
I tried Heero. I tried so damn hard to get some emotion out of you. I would have been happy to see a small response. I tried, I really did. I pushed every single button I could think of. I put on every mask my face could hold. I tried to get you to relax, to laugh, and to live. I even tried provoking you, risking my life in the process.  
  
Damn your 'Omae O Korosu's!' (1) Damn them all to hell. You said the words often enough! I've even been nose to nose with your shiny black gun more times than I've had chicken pie for dinner! But you simply didn't do anything more than give cold glares and idle threats.nothing more than those cold icy glares and idle threats."  
  
Heero gasped as he watched a tear roll down Duo's cheek.  
  
"Yes Heero, I know.boys don't cry. But I can't help it. Its so damn frustrating when."  
  
The visual wiped away the tear and smiled weakly.  
  
"I so sorry I couldn't tell you this in person. I didn't know how you would react, didn't know if you really would turn your threat into a reality and I certainly didn't want to see you to crawl back into your hidey hole, specially not after I saw you smile the other day. Heero, I tried so hard. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"  
  
Duo.I.I don't know.  
  
"Don't feel sad Heero, or lonely for that matter. Just remember that I'll be watching you from God's right hand side. Heero, I love you and good bye."  
  
The visual disappeared from the screen and Heero was left listening to the song playing in the background.  
  
//You taught me to run  
  
You taught me to fly  
  
Helped me to free the me inside  
  
Helped me hear the music of my heart  
  
Helped me hear the music of my heart  
  
You opened my eyes  
  
You opened the door  
  
To something I've never known before  
  
And your love, is the music of my heart//  
  
Owari  
  
(1) I'll kill you 


End file.
